lady who dines...

i thought having time off meant i was a "lady who lunches". all my mornings and afternoons are now full of appts and kids stuff. when they are ready for bed is when i socialize. i have been out to dinner the last two nights with girlfriends. the big guy doesn't mind b/c the kids are down or almost down and he can lay on the couch watching sports without me wanting to change to the food network. dinner now lasts 3 hours long. i don't just eat - it is a pouring of souls. it is my only interaction i get with the outside world. am i now under house arrest? only allowed to go to supermarkets and dr. appts. otherwise the guilt of having time off and not spending it with the kids gets to me.
if you really want to know the truth - yes the nanny still came over 4 times last week! this week i have her down to 3 days. hopefully i can go to the grocery store only 2 times not 5. i am proud to announce we did not order any take out this week. life has it's small victories. this is alomost like i am alcoholic counting the days i stay sober. by the time i get used to not working i will have to go back. i better take my head out of my ass and start enjoying myself.
speaking of enjoying myself - we finally had the belated father's day for big b. the first one was at discovery kingdom - bad idea! the 2nd one was in the hospital while i was in surgey and then recovering. yeah - not so much. then finally we got him a gas grill yesterday. he spent all day assembling it and it worked on the first try. he did not get the fancy stainless one - he got the big black one with two chimney's that come out of the top with a side burner for your beans. he loves it! we broke out the all the chairs and mini picnic table for the kids and had a grill out with all the neighbors. we got the sand and water table that is really a mud table now. both kids called the mud "poop", i guess city kids never see mud and the mini blow up pool (that eventually got sand in it too). even the sprinklers got turned on. hours of fun! now if the playhouse, slide thing comes soon the back will be complete. fully kid-ified and i will not have to leave the house to entertain. ah - the city-suburban thing can be fun.