lucky me

i have an interesting relationship with my hubs. he will clean the crap out of the house if i leave. if i stay, then couch city. i left for a play date today at 3pm and came back at 7 - dishes done, floors mopped and get this - it is the kicker - both bathrooms were cleaned too. there is no in between - he doesn't "tidy". he only goes for it when and only we are all gone or nothing.

another interesting thing happened today - B took the day off to finally see and buy this 88 Jag he's been interested in. 2 weeks of back and forth with the seller. 2 hours after he was supposed to show up with the car he decided that god told him that he should not drive up to sf or sell us the car. we were speechless. so no car - yet. he is on a serious hunt now for a dependable 20 yr old car.

b hinted today at the fact that there has been a slight transformation in me and he likes it. the added stress of work is fading and he says i act more like the girl he married years ago. before kids! he may move us to the suburbs to make this stint last longer. what surprises me the most is that i don't feel like i am acting nicer or nagging less. i do pack his lunch now. whatever it is i am very much still enjoying myself and am grateful that i have the opportunity to do this. lucky me!

craigslist back and forth

this last couple of weeks have been a great with craigslist. i bought a $400 cruiser bike for $200, a new bottle warmer for $20 regularly for $40. i sold my crib for $110 that i got for $100 (on sale). i sold a 5 year old stroller for $50 and gave her all the baby toys and random boppy and blankets. i loved to give it to people who really appreciate the stuff. to top it off this old jag transaction is going to happen tmrw - also a craiglist buy. this is kind of fun to do. even better to not have the stuff in our garage anymore!

can't sleep

i have lots of time in my life where i just simply can't sleep. tonight is reminding me of that. the mental exhaustion helped before when i was employed. but that is not the case anymore. my constant appt. and errand running does not tire me out like a good 9 hours of work thinking and talking about jeans. am i complaining about not having to work the 80 hours that my old team had to do last week? i better stop now!

i guess this is what compromise means

hubs has been coveting an '88 jag for the last couple of weeks. today he finally made the date to see the car and make the purchase if everything checks out. i casually ask - soooo where is this money coming from? hubs - oh i meant to ask you to write me a check so i can go deposit it now to pay for it and you sure are pretty. mind you this changing the subject rarely works on me. then admits that his day trading in my account should be able to pay for it. we live life in the fast lane - only we drive beaters down it.

may the force be with you

m love is so into everything star wars right now and found his cousins automatic light saber. automatic meaning with a press of a button the light saber part will shoot out of the handle at a speed faster than light. ok - not quite that fast but pretty fast. especially when said light saber is pointed point blank at my eye. he just wanted to show me how it worked but pointed it at the worst place possible. OUCH!!!!! i was so f*ckin shocked i screamed at the top of my lungs "get out! go any where but here." b/c i wanted to whoop his ass so bad. b said it was shocking to him how well i handled it. right under my eye socket and above my cheekbone - i had a heartbeat. we got ice on it fast. b is being nice b/c i could call "domestic violence" on him so i did get breakfast in bed today and he did the dishes. nice.

millionaire's shortbread

this is as good as it looks. look for it on foodtv.com, 5 ingredients only! i am sold as it only gets better as the days go on and is like eating a yummy version of a twix bar,

today's literal juggling

to begin with today's fun i dropped m off at pre-school and then went to chunk's gymnastics class. i do what i am told - take your shoes off. i am scared of being barefoot anywhere but my own home so i wear socks. i walk down the path, imagine chunk in one arm, enormous python hand bag in slung over other arm and my cute yellow heels hooked to my finger. then there is a tiny one step ramp that i step on and slip completely out of my socks and am laying on the ground on my side. the miraculous thing about this is that i was holding chunk and he did not get hurt or get near the ground. my mother's instinct made me hold him up and kept him safe - my knees and shins are killing me and i am sure i will be nicely bruised by tomorrow.

update - i am still sooo sore from this tumble. that will teach me to try not look cute now that i don't have to. where are my yoga pants, fit flops and american apparel tee? i would rather much rather slip looking like a schmuck than all cute and sh*t.

not exactly homemaking

i need a better title than homemaker. i have gone so long with a title that now without i seem lost. i cringe at the homemaker reference but use it to amuse my husband. he is still waiting for the sparkly house. i'm not quite at that stage yet. i think that if the kitchen is not crawling with dishes and that my bed is made is a big win right now. but we are only on week two. i am still exhausted from everything from the last few weeks. i have endless dr.s appts. for me and the kids. is there a title for that? can i be an appointment keeper? is that a good title? seeing that i have 1-3 of them a day it seems like something more substantial than homemaker since i am still not exceeding in that realm.

lady who dines...

i thought having time off meant i was a "lady who lunches". all my mornings and afternoons are now full of appts and kids stuff. when they are ready for bed is when i socialize. i have been out to dinner the last two nights with girlfriends. the big guy doesn't mind b/c the kids are down or almost down and he can lay on the couch watching sports without me wanting to change to the food network. dinner now lasts 3 hours long. i don't just eat - it is a pouring of souls. it is my only interaction i get with the outside world. am i now under house arrest? only allowed to go to supermarkets and dr. appts. otherwise the guilt of having time off and not spending it with the kids gets to me.
if you really want to know the truth - yes the nanny still came over 4 times last week! this week i have her down to 3 days. hopefully i can go to the grocery store only 2 times not 5. i am proud to announce we did not order any take out this week. life has it's small victories. this is alomost like i am alcoholic counting the days i stay sober. by the time i get used to not working i will have to go back. i better take my head out of my ass and start enjoying myself.
speaking of enjoying myself - we finally had the belated father's day for big b. the first one was at discovery kingdom - bad idea! the 2nd one was in the hospital while i was in surgey and then recovering. yeah - not so much. then finally we got him a gas grill yesterday. he spent all day assembling it and it worked on the first try. he did not get the fancy stainless one - he got the big black one with two chimney's that come out of the top with a side burner for your beans. he loves it! we broke out the all the chairs and mini picnic table for the kids and had a grill out with all the neighbors. we got the sand and water table that is really a mud table now. both kids called the mud "poop", i guess city kids never see mud and the mini blow up pool (that eventually got sand in it too). even the sprinklers got turned on. hours of fun! now if the playhouse, slide thing comes soon the back will be complete. fully kid-ified and i will not have to leave the house to entertain. ah - the city-suburban thing can be fun.

herbaliciousness

I don't think i mentioned that i have to drink an herbal supplement from my acupuncturist for the 3days. 3 level scoops into warm water. didn't smell too crazy to me as i am used to growing up with my mom's herbal soups to cure and ward away all evils. i should have her teach me but no one here will drink it unless it was pumped with sugar and carbonated and called "soda". ok, i digress as always. back to this new supplement. i swear it gives me a feeling of wellness. i can't call it anything else. she said it was for stress, blood producing, my digestive system and sleeping. it's only for 3 days but i wish the feeling will last longer. or is it my "chi" getting in balance already from my first session? what a load of hoo haa. i have another session of stick, suck and spank tomorrow. we'll see!

lemon love

i am now trying to make lemon bread - i was out of sugar and baking powder and lost my loaf pan. but i already started. thank god for neighbors that had baking powder - had to bridge the language barrier with their spanish speaking nanny and then to the corner store for more sugar and found the pan. the lemon bread was $4.29 at trader joes. I have spent $3.00 on flour, $4.00 for sugar and $3.00 for baking powder, $1.29 for lemons. I should have bought the premade lemon loaf.

i substituted 1/4 of the sugar with brown sugar and all of the milk with buttermilk - i had it so why not use it! frankensteining recipes at it's best!

ok - it's the evening now and everything is complete -here is the recipe and it was yummy. i'm sure even better tomorrow as baked things usually are. do not cook the lemon and sugar too long or it will get bitter.

http://www.bigoven.com/163806-Glazed-Lemon-Bread-recipe.html

uh oh...

m love is at it again. yesterday he swung from the curtain at school and it ripped out of the wall rod and all. then today he called someone a chicken butt and the kid said it back and he turned and hit him in the nose. wtf? really? the wii has been evicted from our house. the teacher said some kids can handle video games some cannot. i have one that can't. he doesn't know what's real and make believe

last week he was a a dream. great at school and at home. lots of praise and rewards for his actions. like we are supposed to do. then this. i understand one week does not change a thing but there is no consistency. life is not predictable or easy.

even though he was bad today i spent some time with him and made home made biscuits. fun to do and it was one on one time for us. a yummy reward and teaches great math skills too. it required 3 cups of flour - and after the first cup i asked "how many more cups?". he answered "two" right away. impressive for me as i sometimes drill him math on the way to school and i can tell he is using his fingers. it also taught him how to read 1/2 and what it looked like compared to 1. the little rewards is all i can ask for.

here is the biscuit recipe...

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paula-deen/biscuits-with-milk-gravy-recipe/index.html

going to get fat now

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ask-aida/rigatoni-with-creamy-eggplant-and-mozzarella-recipe/index.html

Now I get to try new recipes b/c i have the time. I will post the ones that are yummy and this one surely is. it is a flavorful eggplant pasta dish.

h today means HEALTHY

i had an acupuncture appt. today. 1st one with this particular dr. way out on 35th and irving - far far away. yeah that is how the sunset feels to me! small, bare bones office out of something that looked like it used to be a house. they sat me down at the front desk and asked "what's wrong?". um - i need some privacy. so i go into a small room off to the side with the receptionist (who is the translator) and the dr. a nice older chinese man. the whole conversation was me telling something to the lady and then she saying in chinese to him what i felt. i could understand some but not all. medical terminology is not the conversational chinese i can understand. at one point i told them about the time i went to someone when i was pregnant with chunk and he cut my ear to bleed me. yup that's it. the dr. shook his head and said we don't do that in the us - only china. i tell them everything. they say i am pale and sickly, he shook his head when he saw my tongue and then pulled my lower eyelid down and did not like what he saw. dude - i told you i lost alot of blood! i get ushered into the tiny room and lay on the paper covered table. he puts some needles in me - that is nothing to me - i love it. until i start to uncontrollably cough! well those needles are in there and when the muscles tense it is not fun. it gets worse. i then go through cupping - something new for me - it's like i have to lay there still as they lay a giant octopuses all over me and their tentacles are sucking away! ouch! i have big purple circles all down my back. just weird. i have to go 3 days a week for the next month. no joke. i have to get better and this is how i'm going to do it.

reunion

Just a quick pic of me and the boys after i got back from the hospital in my comfy clothes. this is how i'm going to look everyday now. yoga pants - check, house coat check, no makeup check! also check out the face the chunk is making - that is his picture face. pretty isn't it?

need a new title

we are into the first few hours of me not working - today was my last day of 10 1/2 years of talking about jeans. i did not say goodbye. i didn't feel it was necessary to send out the email to everyone i've ever worked with. i do not feel my time of no title is going to last that long.

i also have to change the title of this blog - mommy, shoes and life? nope - no more work - can't buy shoes - still a mommy. we'll see if i can come up with something appropriate when i am out of my anemic state. as i write i am in an iron deficient haze of exhaustion. big b keeps reminding me -you were just discharged from the hospital 72 hours ago - GO REST!

i want to make lists and check off little boxes - i actually think i bought some note paper that had boxes where i can make notes. this is going to take some getting used to. i am going to rest one week and then pressure myself to get things done.

soo tired, i have a headache and i'm thirsty. i have an appt. with the surgeon tomorrow and i am going to ask for all the gory details. i need to know what happened to me while i was under in a room with 4 men on saturday.

sounds more fun than it was. i'll stop complaining now.

i am going to live

it is a long story so i will shorten it - on friday my odyssey began...

1. unexplained bleeding - 12the day
2. ultra sound and blood tests
3. IUD missing
4. admitted to hospital
5. xrays
6. emergency surgery on saturday, not going to make it to monday!
7. found tumor
9. removed tumor
10. borderline anemic now
11. tests came back - inconclusive for now but "not going to die of cancer" was how the dr. put it

they still don't know why i was bleeding - but at least i don't have cancer. there i said it. more tests later a follow up with the "cervix man" of san francisco, this friday. hopefully more good news. i love my kids, my husband and want to enjoy my time off with them until i go back to work!

yes, tomorrow is my last day - 10 1/2 years. haven't even thought about it too much as the above story had me occupied.

moral of this story is to always trust your instincts - if you think something is wrong - it is wrong! don't let nurse's tell you it's no big deal - get a hold of your dr.!