i am not miserable

i got wind of an aquaintances blog it is her experience as a stay at home mom. i have never read anything so miserable in my life. there is not one ounce of love felt. just despair and frustration. it really scares me, how is it effecting the kids? her marriage? i firmly beleive that if mama ain't happy no one is happy. i know that being a parent is tough but i find joy in it. i still feel like it is the best thing i have ever done. it's not all easy - i know but she sounds suicidal!



do you know that i love my mom? i think she is the best mom ever and so does my husband. she surprised us today with a visit. which we never mind b/c it means she is here to help with the kids and cook. she is also the best cook. she will stay the next few days which will leave us sometime to rest. she is a saint.



tomorrow is volunteer day at work. we spend one day a year as a company and volunteer our time. it is usually super fun except for when we have to scrape lead paint off old schools. very rewarding and then they throw a party for us at the end of the day. the only problem is that it lands on a friday this year so it cuts into the 1/2 day fridays that makes this company stand out from the others. i have to hope the tour bus is not running late so i can make it back to get the car, pick up m love and make it to gymnastics.

it's freezing but it's for ice cream

Today is a windy chilly day. Far from the 90+ degrees last week. We get home from work - ate dinner together, everyone eats the same thing, no tv and clean up right away. I am feeling very satisfied from my new rules. we bundle up and take a walk to the ice cream store. I see our kids eating their cones quietly on tall bar stools. Other kids start whining and being unruly, our kids look at them. i am bad, but i feel satisfied. I love my little family.

I love how chunk waves goodbye when i put him in the crib. it is the cutest thing. he knows it's time to go down and will put himself to sleep. this 2 child thing is getting much easier.

An Ordinary Tuesday

I never want to forget what it's like to play under the covers with the kids. The pure white fabric roof with giggling and wriggling. I am the "structure" that keeps the roof above our heads. My pay back is the kisses and hugs I receive back from all my hard work.

I love making a dinner that everyone loves with the help of our newly aquired organic vegetable box that arrived today. KISS - works for my family! Salad "just like a restaurant mommy!", grilled jerk chicken with garlic sauteed green beans. To top it off sugar free popsicles. I don't think anyone is noticing I am trying to make healthier meals. AWESOME!

My size 26 butt has become more of a size 27 and everyone knows how tight I already wear my skinny jeans. I am not helping my wardrobe choices.

Surgery day finally here!

The past week has been a doooozy! The chunk had surgery on Thursday. He was scheduled at 12:50pm so we were trying to distract him from the fact that he had not eaten since the night before. as you might know that solid food is a no no for anyone who is going into surgery. The hospital schedules surgeries according to age, so he was one of the older ones that the pediatric urologist was cutting that day. We get a call at 11:15 to come right away b/c a kid was brought in after having solids. We rush there only to have a totally inept receptionist - who did not get off a personal call to help me - did not even bother to pass the chart off to the nurse. i had to go back up to tell the same inept receptionist that we were asked to rush and should not be waiting this long. Only then did she decide to let them know we were there. We were ushered in me, b and popo to a little room and handed a gown for the chunk to change into. He was then administered a sedative to calm him down and not care about who he has to go with to get what done to him. Suffice it to say the little guy loved it - walking like a drunk guy and getting dazed. Then it was time to hand him to a stranger. It was cute, even though the circumstances were nerve wracking to me! 1 1/2 later we were allowed to see him in the recovery unit. A big room with curtains to separate patients but none of them pulled. There was my baby - in a big metal crib, naked on his side with an oxygen mask on. Frightening scene. I was told he was fine - a cut in his abdomen and a cut right below the sack to tack his business down. The dr. came to let us know he is healthy and everything is fine and while he was in there he found a hernia that he fixed. Poor guy! He ate a a popsicle and then we got him ready to go home with a prescription for liquid vicodin. he was a trooper the first day and the last 2 he has been suffering and swollen. I wish i could take the pain away.

Then last night we had a our first screaming ear pain episode. The fun never ends. how the hell do you handle that? He screamed and cried for 2 hours - flopped around like a fish. We had a play date scheduled w/his best buddy today after trying to get together for 6 months and today was the day. what did he do? play for 5 minutes and then laid on the bench for 45 minutes while i chatted. Luckily they had an appt. at the clinic and we got in. As M predicted ear infection. Who knew the 5 year old knew what he was talking about?!? anti-biotics again for the little guy.

Popo left last night - might as well call her mother therese, she is so helpful. today was a managing of 2 ticking time bombs by ourselves- how do we keep their crying to a minimum without exacerbating other bad habits like too much video games, tv and movies. we managed to do so (with a little fighting) and they ate a little food too.

Boy a week like this makes work seem so easy! I hope I am bored this coming week.

anxiety...

my kid has anxiety. anxiety to new situations, to new kids, to too many kids, to anything new. i did what any mother would do these days - go on amazon and buy a bunch of books. what else can i do? i want to make him a well adjusted child but he is just uncomfortable in his own skin. whrn he isn't feeling anxious he is a great little boy. he is so sweet. today he woke up late at preschool and freaked out - could not be calmed down. nap time usually ends and then it's time for a snack - he woke up during the snack. all hell broke loose. his teachers are worried about kindergarten. so am i. how is he going to cope when he cannot participate in gymnastics with 6 kids when kindergarten has 22!