kids are for loving

just when you thought i about lost it - losing it means walk back into vp's office and take back my resignation so i don't have to spend time with my satan spawn. i had a moment. m love freaked out a few more time since i completed my post a few hours ago and i finally had him in bed. thought i would try to salvage the day and have a cuddle. he had times of weepiness and i finally asked why are you so sad about everything? "i miss all of my friends - i like my new school but i miss my friends and i think they don't know where i am." again a heart wrenching moment for me of course that's why he is sad. knee jerk - take him out of presidio and put him back in tule elk. but no, i bring myself back to the whole reason why we are doing this. he needs some familiar faces at Lafayette. i knew 2 transitions were going to be hard on him b/c he is the worst at them. let's see what the next 2 weeks brings. he is a very complex kid. not a simple boy - i have to understand that. i apologized for yelling so much today and he said it hurt his feelings. of course it did! tomorrow will be better - we will do some shopping together for food so he can make dinner and lunch choices for himself. we also talked about getting a soccer ball and baseball to practice this summer with. he seems honestly interested. there will be peaks and valleys as big b tried to tell me on the phone today but this time will pass and i will regret not loving him even when he is a whiny, cry baby. he just needs to communicate better and i have to get better at not saying anything and just giving hugs.