m love - the next chapter

i held it together pretty well today for the graduation. m love in his skinny black jeans and skinny tie - too cute. chunk is officially hipster prep. i hate the dumb mohawk - faux hawk rock rock and roll thing for kids now. mine are going preppy - against the "cool" thing to do which is so over done. m love got his first argyle sweater and i love it. yes, i am concerned about the style my children have.

big f*ckin' momentous occasion

m love graduates preschool tomorrow. can you believe it. i plan on crying even though i don't cry (unless it is a bad drew barrymore movie). there are some really nice people that i saw every day that i will not anymore. the school is special but it is time for him to move on. he is starting presidio cdc on monday and hear it is a fantastic school. we will see if i like it enough for the chunk to go to.

work is whipping into a frenzy - i am doing enough to get by - i feel myself checking out bit by bit. i am at complete odds with myself on what i want to do. i am scared. i made a comment about how i am eating a frozen dinner for dinner to save money and someone made a crack about if i sold my bags on ebay i could make $10,000 to survive on. ha! i knew they were a good investment. 6 months i can go back - that is enough time for me to decide if i hate it or not. i repeat i do not want to be a maid and chauffeur!

another funny thing happened at work - one of my favorite gay boys passed by and asked - what have u been doing? you look great -"cut the hair?" - no (though i do need to touch up my roots) - "botox?" - yes. he nearly fell to the ground and everyone turned their head to look. so i admitted it - 2 shots right between the brows! so i don't really need it but isn't that the point??? preventative? so that opened up how everyone wants to do a little of this and that. i own what i do! i am not ashamed! i think everyone thinks if you do it that your whole face freezes. absolutely not. that reminds me i need to buy up the rest of the 100 for 50 gift certificates for the epi center.

hey - that latisse is not working for me - kind of bummed. what it's been 3 weeks?

keep you posted!

train wreck

i am addicted to the housewives of new jersey. i love how they "tawk". i should be sleeping.

the chunk has decided he does not like his crib and will cry for almost 45 min. i say almost b/c we cannot go longer than that with out going in to help him out. something is going on but i don't know what it is.

m love is graduating preschool on thursday and i have picked him up the cutest clothes. i am so tired of the mohawk - rock and roll kid look. not so cool, since everyone is doing it. i'm going for hipster preppy. much cuter and not so poser. am i in highschool still? why do i care so much? i get uncomfortable when i am not dressed to my standards and i feel the same way for my kids i guess. big b on the other hand i cannot do anything about. he is what he is. i digress - we visited the school that he will attending this summer 4 days a week. the presidio child development center. it will give him a chance to meet some other kindergartners that could potentially be in his class. i am doing all of this for him...

work is crazy - everyone is gone and i have to support - 3 weeks and counting. i can't tell you how i am regretting it a bit. people can't believe i am going to be a SAHM. me neither! let's see. i am looking into getting my image consulting lesson - would love to personal shop and do makeovers. i could also life coach i think. i seem to always be talking people off ledges! i could be one stop shopping.

i took d on a shopping trip this weekend - 3 hours long - if i charged 150 an hour it would have been alot of money. but i got her all she needed for her vacation. fantastic! i would love to go through her closet and get rid of stuff. i should do the same thing. i have so many jeans there is no room for any of it. must purge!

i feel like a casualty of war

today was intense. lay offs for my team - my team for one year, where i did not feel a part of, always an outsider, since i came from men's. everyone and i mean everyone was let go or moved into a different department. it was an anxiety full day - wish i had my valium refill. which by the way i got today and will partake during work b/c i am a bit thrown off my game. my director, 1 senior, 1 assitant and 1 data person. 1 senior was spared and moved over to another brand. a less "sexy" business since their tastes are more conservative which would serve the better thamn ours. i am shocked. i cannot beleive everone is gone. i am left to keep it a float while they figure it out for the next 30 days. it is going to be a doozy - you simply cannot run a 10+ million unit business w/no one left and 1 person on their way out.

onto other pressing things - had a mtg. with m love's afternoon teacher and the speech therapist the other day. they confirmed he needed to be evaluated for speech therapy in kindergarten. duh - we have known he has a problem for over a year. they also said he had self regulating issues - something new for me. doesn't like loud noises or sounds and needs to learn to cope with these things himself through more "play" so more play dates are in order to build this capability in him. they recommened i look into the afterschool program for his kindergarten and get him in there so he can meet new kids that could potentially be in his class. well that day i go thim transferred. this will benefit two fold in my mind - he will get into e new "play group" and then meet new kids. both things help his self regulating and familiarity when he gets to kindergarten. i think this is a good thing for him. my beginnings of a SAHM!

the big boulder theory

why am i so nervous about tomorrow? i am really doing it! or am i really doing it? i can probably stop it now if i wanted to but i don't think i will. why not wait until i am 39 to get my first tattoo and leave my job in an unstable economy? the way i see it - how bad can it be to spend the next year with the chunk? get m love off to school and then find another job? my kind of job is not easy to if you are new at it but i am definately not new. i just have to keep up the young appearance. therefore - we are on a budget but botox is still in that budget. no one knows i am mad any more. my husband has joked that i am starting to over compensate another part of my face to show distaste. hope i do not start new wrinkles there!

to work or not to work...

i asked my boss today to see if i still had an opportunity of taking a package that was offered to me about a year ago during my transition to the misses team. that would mean i would voluntarily lay myself off. next week we find out if we have jobs or not. i guess i could not wait. i want to take time with the chunk and get micah off to kindergarten if i can. let's see if i committed career suicide by fleeing during "breakthrough". i am excited about taking the risk.

inked

i got inked today - a first. it took almost 40 years to decide what was important enough for me to have memorialized on my body forever. i think it is simple looking and pretty - the boys middle names. i now cannot brag about not having a tattoo b/c around here you stand out more when you don't have one. i don't know what came over me but it did and i like it - pics to follow...