Hello stranger

Life in the last four months have been nothing but intense. I was called for a few jobs and finally was talked into one and have been doing nothing but working since. Anywhere grim 65 to about 50 hours a week regularly and about 4 of those weeks was around 40. What a sham. I miss my kids but I only want to do a good job. I can't do it 1/2 way. But the family thing I definitely am. I didn't do a holidy card or calendar, didn't make it to more than one field trip, didn't make it to one celebration for either of their birthdays at school and see them about 2 times a week before they go to bed. Lord knows what they are doing with big B alone everyday. That's 3 boys with no discipline. All I know is when I come home M love jumps up and will say I didn't play wii today! And Kaden is staring into the set. When I was off there was no wii except a 1/2 hour on weekends and tv was not turned on in th daytime except for a 1/2 hour before bed to relax. There are bags of chips and some sweet artificial soda or Gatorade on the counter. Their activities all encompass things I never let them do on my watch. M love never has his reading log done on Wednesday and there is no checking of his homework. For some reason I could
work before and get things done. Now I can only work and trust that the kids are not going to die under their fathers care but not anything more is added to their development. I do it my way, he does it his. I trust I will get this balance thing one day it's just taking longer than I expected!